Bah, Humbug!

Ho-ho-hold the display business
HELEN GODFREY (Globe & Mail - November 9, 2007)

Toronto -- Here is an idea whose time may have come: Stores with elaborate Christmas window displays before Nov. 25 should be fined a $1,000 a day. They can make the cheques out to the United Way or Food Bank.

I know they've probably had their holiday merchandise on hand since the boxcar arrived from China in August, but I resent having the season thrust at me. Christmas used to be such an enjoyable time of year.

This woman is overstating the obvious (and I could kiss her for it). Every year, it seems that this Xmas crap starts earlier and earlier. This year, the Santas were competing with the Satans on All Hallows Eve. BTW, I refuse to type "Christ"mas because if God was still around (you know he's not or none of this would be happening), he would regret the hell out of lending his name to this unholy-holiday.

My family knows how much I hate Xmas but I still had to remind my Mom after she asked me, "Tell me again why you hate Xmas so much?" *sigh* It was difficult to explain to Rob. It will be our first Xmas together and implored him NOT to put up a tree. And forget my friend Mary Ann. She LOVES Xmas ... and snow ... and skiing. I'm really starting to worry about her. Anyway, here are the reasons:

1. It happens in December. When it's cold. And snowy. Nothing good can come from this type of weather.

2. The commercials start in OCTOBER. WTF?

3. The music sucks. Actually, it is enough to drive you to drink (but not drink and drive because that would be illegal). When is the last time anyone wrote a NEW Xmas song? It's all the same old crap, regurgitated by geezer rockstars with non-existent careers and too many grandchildren.

4. It turns normal people into weirdos and weirdos into lunatics who can talk about nothing other than buying gifts for people who don't need anything and weird food like eggnog and pudding. *barf*

5. It makes it impossible for anti-Xmas people like me and my friend Heidi to go into the underground at lunchtime to buy food or tampons. LOL

So when it comes to Xmas, I JUST SAY NO!!!