Online Dating Sucks!

This is part of a message I received from someone responding to my profile:

I am tall, well educated and, according to some, still ruggedly handsome. I live and play in downtown Toronto. I take my coffee strong. I prefer my wine red and very dry. I enjoy films 'noir', sometimes violent but that always make you think. I can spend time alone developing intellectually or socializing on a sunny café patio; preferably, accompanied by you in a sun dress. I should warn you that I am a bit wilder then you think. (So have I scared you off yet?)

I seek some one who is intelligent, imaginative, and intuitive. She loves to laugh, tease and be teased. She can be sensual, impulsive, spontaneous, and creative. She should be a lady in public but open to experience a greater range of erotic pleasures behind closed doors. She is not afraid of passion.

Here is my reply to "Mr. Wonderful":

I do not generally take well to people telling me how to dress or what to wear, ever. Why bother warning me that you are "much wilder" than I think? I could not possibly have formed any opinions in that regard within the 30 seconds it took me to read your message.

And no, I am not scared off, just highly offended. Comments of an overly suggestive and/or sexual nature are not, in my opinion, appropriate in this forum. That shared knowledge would come naturally in the process of a mutual acquaintance between two intelligent, open-minded adults.

Unfortunately, that will never happen now, given your crude approach.

Thank the Goddess for the "delete" key. LOL

Gym Etiquette

I don't know where I learned about "gym etiquette" but there are certain things you do and don't do in a gym. For starters, I don't go looking like I'm on a date. I wash off my makeup, add extra deoderant and dress appropriately. All the important bits and pieces are covered. If I want to wear a sleeveless top (important when training my arms), I place a towel over any equipment that touches my bare skin. This is for my protection as well as the longevity of the equipment. Sweat wreaks havoc on the vinyl covers of most benches and it only makes sense that there might be germs lurking around a gym, so better to try to be as sterile as possible.

I also return teh weights to the rack or stack, I try not to block anyone's access to another piece of equipment, I don't tie up more than one piece of equipment at a time, unless I am supersetting, and I don't socialize, much. I'm there to work. I'm not there to get picked up. I'm friendly, polite, ask if I can work in when necessary and generally just do my thing and leave. Tonight, I ran into a real jackass at the gym.

You know the type -- a young, brash, slightly overweight male with something to prove (although benching 105 pounds didn't impress me much!). In order to lift this miniscule amount (I can bench 65 pounds without training for a couple of weeks), he occupied a flat bench and had covered it with a towel. Fine. Then he wandered over to the receptionist desk to chat with her for five minutes. When I asked if he was done with the bench, the answer was a resounding "no". Next I saw him using the lat pulldown machine. Another five minute chat with the receptionist had me wondering what kind of program he was using. Then he proceeded to do arm curls with a lot of loud grunting and groaning, slamming the bar down when he was done.

I'm not exactly quiet when I train. I can grunt and groan with the best of them but mostly, I just exhale slightly louder than I normally would. But this guy was making his presence known in the gym. As in: "I'm here and I'm making a lot of noise so you'll notice I'm here." *sigh* Anyway, after waiting through a set of bench presses (loud huffing and puffing) and a set of lat pulldowns (loud moaning and groaning), intermixed with long, intense conversation jags with the front desk, I removed the weights from the curl bar and started working my biceps.

By the time he even noticed, I was finished my first set and was loading on small plates for my second set.

"Why did you remove my weights?" he asked, belligerently.

I replied, "I saw you on the pulldown machine so I figured you were finished."

"Well, I wasn't. Sorry if that inconveniences you." he intoned sarcastically.

I sweetly rejoindered, "I didn't realize you were using three pieces of equipment at one time."

Anyway, I finished my set and he spent another five minutes bemoaning his plight to the receptionist. In fact, as I write this, one hour later, he's probably still at the gym. I bet he brags to everyone how much time he spends there "training". LMAO

Do you believe in KARMA?

I've had some interesting discussions lately with people about superstition, the Evil Eye and other such "beliefs". My former boss is Iranian and one of her clients (also Iranian) brought in an Evil Eye tree. It is an ornamental metallic tree, about 8" high, "growing" Evil Eyes like so much freaky fruit all over it. We are using it to help us win his case. These types of superstitions are not reserved solely for Iran. They occur throughout the world, in many different cultures.

You often hear people say things like "what goes around, comes around" and "he will get HIS some day ...". I'm not sure I believe in KARMA but I do think one good deed begets another. It's an age old doctrine that was revived in modern terms in the movie "Pay It Forward". But in the movie, I think you had to do two good deeds for every one that was bestowed upon you. I was reminded of this as I walked to work this morning and saw how drivers treat one another in rush hour traffic.

A girlfriend sent me an email yesterday. Apparently she asked a mutual friend about her old boyfriend (the one who treated her very badly). The rest of her email says it all: "It seems he's depressed, has an injured back, doesn't have the vacation time he used to, etc. etc. Poor thing. Can you spell....k..a..r..m..a?" She obviously feels that this man is getting repaid by the goddesses for all the hurt he caused her.

Who knows? A strong belief in anything can cause "shit" to happen. (Isn't that how religions work?) I haven't really had any bad luck lately so I must still be on the positive side of the Karma Department. So what's happening in your life lately? Do you ever feel like the world is against you for no particular reason? Time to start doing some good deeds for someone else. Maybe your luck will change ... *smile*

I Hate Mondays!

I still hate Mondays. I thought I would get over it but I haven't. It is a truly miserable way to spend 1/7 of your life. I made a point of sleeping in every Monday while not working in Mexico. It was divine! But I'm having a difficult time remembering that feeling. This morning I had to get up extra early to take my friend Winne to the train station. We hailed a taxi which was a bit of a treat for me on the way to work. I usually walk or take the bus.

So Remembrance Day was a big success, nation-wide. Did anyone watch the CBC's coverage on Saturday morning? They started their broadcast with excerpts from the eulogies of the soldiers recently lost in Afghanistan. Now that was gut wrenching to watch ... fathers, wives, sisters, brothers, friends ... all talking about these extraordinary people who had given their lives in the line of duty. I had to turn it off because I was getting too emotional.

My weekend was JAMpacked with fun. I saw family and friends. I shopped at Canadian Tire and finally got my beautiful, red tantric dishes. That's what they're called! I'm not lying -- Red Tantric Dinnerware. I am expecting big things from these dishes. LOL BTW, I did have a lunch date last week courtesy of Lavalife. He was very nice and we had a pleasant hour together over a lovely meal. Not sure if we're "made" for each other but it was a good experience none-the-less. *grin*

My grammar class is drawing to a close. I think only have four weeks left before my final exam. So far, I'm averaging over 80% on my two other tests and I expect to receive 10/10 for participation. Those who know me well know that I would never be able to sit anywhere and keep my mouth shut for very long. Ha! I got my eyes tested last week as well. Unfortunately, they did not score very high so I need to get glasses. The good news is: NO bifocals (yet).

That's all that's happening with me. What's new with you?

A Pittance Of Time

The Globe and Mail (November 2, 2006)
"A mere two minutes for our war veterans. It's so little for so much" - by ROY MacGREGOR

He just got out of bed on the wrong side of the world. He is jetlagged and tired, but still he wants to talk about his great dream.

Terry Kelly sees the entire country - all of Canada - coming to a complete stop. Cars pulling over on the highways, elevators coming to a halt, coffee shops going quiet, classes shutting down, even passenger jets falling silent as they float through Canadian airspace.

For two minutes, that's all.

As Terry Kelly says and sings, A Pittance of Time.

The Canadian entertainer is in Wellington, New Zealand, invited there by that country's equivalent of the Canadian Legion, and this week he will sing his song in a 34,000-seat rugby stadium before what is certain to be the largest audience of his career.

It is a song that was intended as a rant, a little "venting" by the blind singer-songwriter concerning an incident he overheard seven years ago this coming week in a Shoppers Drug Mart in Dartmouth, just across the harbour from his home in Halifax.

He was in the store the morning of Nov. 11, 1999, when an announcement came over the public address system that the store would be following the legion's "two minutes of silence" initiative and fall quiet at 11 a.m. to honour those who had fought, and often died, for their country.

At the 11th hour, the store went quiet. Clerks stopped stocking shelves. Cashiers stepped back from their registers. Shoppers paused and lowered their heads.

Except for one man.

He was there with his young daughter, and he was in a hurry.

He demanded a clerk's attention. He insisted on going through the cash. He was loud and obnoxious and destroyed all hope of reflection for everyone within his sound range.

When the man completed his purchase, he hustled his little girl out the doors, but not before Terry Kelly - whose superb hearing compensates for his lack of sight - picked up her plaintive "Daddy - that was embarrassing!" as the doors swung back closed and, finally, allowed the store to fall quiet.

Outraged, Kelly went home, sat down with his guitar, and slowly worked out a tune and words:

"They fought and some died for their homeland
They fought and some died now it's our land
Look at his little child, there's no fear in her eyes
Could he not show respect for other dads who have died?
"Take two minutes, would you mind?
It's a pittance of time
For the boys and the girls who went over
In peace may they rest, may we never forget why they died.
It's a pittance of time . . ."

In the song, Kelly unleashed his anger ("God forgive me for wanting to strike him") and celebrated the Canadian soldier, from those who sent letters back from the Great War to those who today send e-mails home from Afghanistan. He sang about the swift passage of time ("May we never forget our young become vets") and about the significance of that small moment we mark at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month.

A Pittance of Time.

Warren Sonoda, a Toronto filmmaker, took the song and produced a remarkable video of Kelly performing in a Shoppers Drug Mart while the ignorant young man interrupts the silence. As the man rails at a bewildered clerk, others in the store stare in shock, including his upset daughter. And then - in a scene reminiscent of the parting of the cornstalks in Field of Dreams - a parade of veterans slowly emerges into sharp focus. Backs stiff, heads held high, shoulders squared, steps sometimes hobbled - the veterans, accompanied by soldiers from various eras, keep moving through the store until, finally, the obnoxious young man realizes what he has been disrupting.

It is a most powerful video ( WATCH THE VIDEO HERE ) and has moved everyone from elementary-school children to hardened Canadian senior officers to tears. It will play on the scoreboard of the Wellington rugby arena as Terry Kelly sings this week.

"It's all about respect," he says.

If his dream were to come true, he would have this entire country come to a stop on Nov. 11 at 11 a.m. Two minutes where every Canadian pauses - even those anxious to get through the checkout counter - and thinks about those who have worn the country's uniform.

Kelly himself once dreamed of this life - he wanted to be in the air force and fly - but he and three siblings had an inherited condition that left him totally blind and his siblings with partial vision. He was sent from St. John's to Nova Scotia to attend a special school for the blind. There he lived with "house parents" who came from the military, and they taught him to be respectful, to be disciplined, and to believe in yourself.

"For me," he says, "it was a blessing."

He never did get to fly in the air force, of course. But he has served his country, all the same.

Wear a poppy on November 11th. Don't ever forget ...

Sunday Night

It's been a rough couple of weeks for me. There have been some changes at work and I am now working with TWO litigation partners so I feel like my workload has doubled. Good thing they are both really nice guys. I enjoy being busy but some days, it feels like there should be more than 24 hours in my day in order to enable me to do everything I want/need to do.

My friend Mike Lee finally succumbed to his cancer, after living with the knowledge of the disease for many years. Mike loved Puerto Vallarta and that's how we met. First online and then in person. We spent many evenings talking on the phone or MSN about PV, his illness and life in general. We enjoyed many laughs over drinks and dinner in PV. He had a joyful spirit. I knew he was dying but the news was still a shock when it came. Mike was six months older than me.

Vaya con dios, mi querido amigo.

The weather is changing. It's getting colder every day. I am noticing changes in my body as a result. I have dry skin and dry hair. Every time I touch a light switch in my condo, I get a static shock. I can't say that I am entirely happy about these changes but the weather in Canada is certainly consistent in its changeability. There is no doubt in my mind that this is where I want to be so I will have to find a way to cope. Any suggestions?

My circle of friends seems to have shrunk remarkably since I've been gone. Some have moved, some now have boyfriends and some have carried on without me. Oh well, that is the way life is -- nothing stays the same. I'm looking for ways to meet new people. Some of my fellow grammar students are pretty cool and I hope a few of us will be continuing on to the next course together.

I placed an ad on Kijiji (www.kijiji.ca) looking for some Spanish speakers and one of them directed me to this website: www.meetup.com. I think it is a pretty cool way to meet local people with the same interests. There's even a group of X-expats! So I'll be checking into a few of these things and letting you know what happens.

That's it for now. Sorry I haven't blogged much lately. I'm feeling a little gloomy and didn't want to burden you with my mood. But the writing helps so maybe I'll try it more often, for therapeutic purposes. Good night!