Is Beige the New Black?

I saw three people wearing beige today and I can tell you, I was not impressed.

What is with these overweight businessmen who hang on to their ratty, beige trench coats for years? And they tie the belt around their waists instead of securing it property. Rob ties his belt but then, he's got a 32" waist so it looks OK. Fat men who do this look like a sausage, cut in half.

Then I saw one of our neighbours, enjoying his morning coffee at a local cafe. He was wearing a beige "mock" turtleneck sweater under a chocolate brown sports jacket. I will admit that this man is also rather large but he is tall and carries his weight well. He has white hair and is rather distinguished looking. However the beige sweater simply negated all those good attributes. And why is it called a "mock" turtleneck? Is it a turtleneck wannbe???

Finally, I saw a young, blonde woman on her way to work wearing a beige down-filled, knee-length winter coat with running shoes. *sigh* There was so much wrong with her outfit, I don't know where to start. Frankly, blondes should never wear beige. It wipes them out colour-wise. The bare legs and the running shoes are also a big no-no. And while we're on the topic, wearing running shoes anywhere except the gym is just stupid.

I have yet to meet anyone who looks good in beige. I don't even like the sound of the word: b.e.i.g.e. It sounds icky and it looks icky. I think it should be outlawed in the fashion world and kept strictly for use in hospital morgues.